3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
