wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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