I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize