angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
