so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Be still, my beating vagina.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
