She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
