video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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