So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
