it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Then you guys just all showered together...?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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