a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
