Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
