"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
