Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
