I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
handjob tips. give me some.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
