chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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