; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
only you would photoshop your dick
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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