We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
