a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
