so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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