is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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