your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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