this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
