Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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