so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
