But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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