yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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