just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
