Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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