Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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