It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
