And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
