God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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