how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
