Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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