he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
