It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
