you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
