Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
