hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
