we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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