On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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