Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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