I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
