I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
