brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
