Please, let me fuck your mom
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
