That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
