Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
