I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This house was built for laser tag.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You need Xanax blowdarts
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
