Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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