i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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