We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
