Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
