His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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