You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
