The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
