What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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