the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
