I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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