Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
