I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
