so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
