I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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