There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm bleeding and have questions
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
