It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm both gender and math confused
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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