u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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