was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
