I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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