Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
