what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
