So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
