Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
