Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
