So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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