thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Dicks are not precious.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
